My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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