it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What a dumb baby whore.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
