Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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