and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
