dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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