how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize