I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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