that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
