well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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