Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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