I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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