Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize