You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
