Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
