Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
