Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
