Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
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