You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
