Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
