I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize