There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
