all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
