My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
