fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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