You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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