Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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