I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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