you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize