Christians are straight up FREAKS
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sext me about skeletons
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize