Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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