Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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