I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
