phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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