i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
