Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
