Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize