Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
