well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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