he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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