i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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