Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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