Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
