i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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