Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
