I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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