Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize