it hurts more in the daytime
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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