i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This baby is an asshole
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
