I am in a vortex of obligation.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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