Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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