Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
