so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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