you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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