You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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